Ffarff

VULTURE

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:05:41 +1100

Be proactive! Jesus doesn’t help those who dont help themselves! You could work as a team.

For those of you who don’t know, my chosen industry has some issues with job stability, and I’m stuck in its web of short term contracts. Every eight to twelve weeks for the past three years I’ve found myself unemployed time and time again, wasting weeks trying to secure yet another eight to twelve week contract before running out of food money. Unfortunately it means that almost all of my money goes to stocking up for bills and food for that period between jobs. There’s no planning ahead, there’s no saving for anything of any consequence, there’s nothing I can do to get out of this rut.

For any hope of permanency, or even a reasonably lengthy contract, my only hope is to profit from death. It might sound like I’m joking, but in late 2007 I scored an unusually long contract (at four months) after somebody was run over and killed by a bus. Then again in early 2008 Jesus sent somebody a botched suicide attempt, and I won a three month contract on a secondment while they went on extended leave.

But nobody’s dying anymore. Someone was murdered in Sydney the other week but his job is too far advanced for my experience. As my current contract comes to a close, all of my tasks are done, and there’s nothing more I can really accomplish in these final few shifts. Frankly I’d rather be at home updating my resume than pretending to work here.

Sixty or so people are going to die in car accidents in South-East Queensland this Christmas, and frankly, I don’t see why one of them can’t be occupying a position I want. C’mon, just one. Are you there, Jesus? It’s me, Niki.

beatabeatrix: akubizone: tartanspartan: Azusa Tukamoto as...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:34:57 +1100

beatabeatrix:

akubizone:

tartanspartan:

Azusa Tukamoto as Osame, Matsuo Kabuki — Hiroshi Watanabe, 2003

Photo

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:55:07 +1100

If only it was a dolphin. dolphins make me puke. dolphins and...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:40:15 +1100

If only it was a dolphin.

dolphins make me puke. dolphins and cupcakes.

Photo

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:56:44 +1100

niki:

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:25:24 +1100

niki:

"Mariah Carey’s request to have 20 white kittens at a Christmas lights switch-on in England has..."

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:44:00 +1100

“

Mariah Carey’s request to have 20 white kittens at a Christmas lights switch-on in England has been blocked.

The diva reportedly wanted the young felines and 100 white doves to accompany her at the extravagant switch-on ceremony at Westfield shopping centre, in west London.

She also requested to be showered with butterfly-shaped confetti - her favourite insect - while standing on a pink podium and waving a magic wand.

”

- Mariah Carey still believes she is 6 years old.

I had a dream last night that i was hanging out with Daniel Craig at a restaurant and all his...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:40:57 +1100

I had a dream last night that i was hanging out with Daniel Craig at a restaurant and all his friends hated me so much they kept trying to stab me with forks without him noticing.
why am i having dreams about Daniel Craig? Its a bit distressing.

Photo

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:21:15 +1100

(via beatabeatrix)

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:55:50 +1100

(via beatabeatrix)

Rowland S. Howard guest starring in Fred Negros comic in...

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 11:57:00 +1100

Rowland S. Howard guest starring in Fred Negros comic in impress.

“You know Rowland if one cuts your eye out of the cover of impress and turns it upside down it kinda looks like some weird one-eyed space alien with a very furry vagina..”

The only thing i look forward to at Christmas is watching Billy...

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:35:41 +1100

The only thing i look forward to at Christmas is watching Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa.

dailyohdeer: The 111 is brought to you by the letter H.

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:10:31 +1100

dailyohdeer:

The 111 is brought to you by the letter H.

“oh would you just look at...

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:51:00 +1100

“oh would you just look at these…breasts.”

some much wrong going on with her.

Bianca, your tits are ridiculous. They used to be so nice! Why...

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:48:56 +1100

Bianca, your tits are ridiculous. They used to be so nice! Why why why …?

“oh the things im going to do to you after i finish...

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:24:15 +1100

“oh the things im going to do to you after i finish filling this cup with my vomit…”

oh, Melissa George hello.

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:08:55 +1100

oh, Melissa George hello.

smokesperson: iwantmybearsuit: lostlovers:nnzxy:flirtwithyourte...

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:03:50 +1100

smokesperson:

iwantmybearsuit:

lostlovers:nnzxy:flirtwithyourteddybear:(via aubrieee)

Alias will always be better than Lost. There’s no one in...

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 02:10:35 +1100

Alias will always be better than Lost.

There’s no one in Lost to look at = thumbs down.

"Ron Cameron go bro i got your back bro car driver piss me ALL the damm time and here ther r saying..."

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 14:46:00 +1100

“

Ron Cameron
go bro i got your back bro car driver piss me ALL the damm time and here ther r saying trucks r tailgated like f*ck we tailgated i see more cars tailgateing cars then trucks

Lynden Noye
LOL I DRIVE TRUCKS TOO BRO ARENT THEY AWESOME LOL :3
FUCK YEAH I LOVE TRUCKS

”

- deliberately driving slower when being tailgated facebook group